“My Whole World”: One Elderly Jew and His Homecare Worker Reflect on JDC Assistance

Homecare workers are vitally important for many JDC clients in the former Soviet Union — they’re frequently described as the client’s “eyes, hands, and ears,” and are often the only contact these elderly Jews have with the outside world. We recently sat down with Alexander S., 79, of Poltava, Ukraine, and his homecare worker, Valentina, to talk about why this life-saving assistance matters, what it looks like in real time, and how Alexander’s life would be different without it.  

Valentina S. 

Q: Tell us your story. What inspired you to become a JDC homecare worker?

A: All my life I’d worked as a nurse — helping people with limited mobility was my calling. After retirement, I looked for an opportunity to apply my skills. I was offered to come to our city’s JDC-supported Hesed Nefesh social welfare center and take care of an elderly woman. It turned out to be Alexander’s mother. I helped her for several years. After her death, I stayed with him. 

When Alexander’s brother passed away, Alexander was left completely alone — that’s when I became his primary source of support. 

Q: What kind of assistance do you provide Alexander?

A: I provide all the necessary household help: buying groceries, cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, and contact with Hesed Nefesh. Above all, I provide Alexander with human connection — because of that, he never feels lonely. 

Q: What kind of difference do you feel you’re making in his life?

Hesed Nefesh plays a vital role in the life of every client in Poltava and makes a huge difference. Without it, many clients simply wouldn’t survive. I help Alexander to live with dignity and feel needed. He knows that he’s cared for, and that’s everything.  

Q: We’re nearing three years since the start of the expanded conflict in Ukraine. When you think about what Alexander has had to endure, what makes your role so important? 

A: At the start of the conflict, Alexander was afraid our assistance would stop. He is completely alone and would be left without any help if not for us. A long time passed before he realized that we’d be there with him through any difficult situation — no matter what. We give Alexander care, a sense of confidence, special food assistance, winter relief, and more. All of this is extremely important for him and makes a positive impact on his life.

It’s this positive impact that’s my motivation for working with Alexander and other elderly clients. I want to stress that Hesed trains its homecare workers in the most cutting-edge techniques — and through this training, we increase our sense of empathy, resilience, and ability to recognize the needs of clients, especially clients with disabilities, like Alexander. 

Over time, I’ve learned to help Alexander not only in terms of basic household chores — cooking, cleaning, washing, and more — but how to overcome negative emotions and find hope. 

Q: What else is important to know about Alexander?

A: He is such a good-hearted person. I admire his resilience and love for life — he’s always thankful even for the smallest things, and I’ve never had a more grateful client.

I’d also like to express my heartfelt gratitude to Hesed Nefesh and JDC for their care and assistance provided to elderly, vulnerable community members. Elderly Jews deserve this help. Finally, I’d like to thank those reading this for their interest, support, and respect for the work we do.  

Alexander S. 

Q: Tell us about your childhood. What are some of your most vivid memories? What was most challenging?

A: My father was Jewish and was forced to hide his identity. He couldn’t attend the synagogue or participate in Jewish community life. Despite this, we observed Jewish traditions in our home. My father always bought challah — which, during Soviet times, were incredibly large, braided loaves — and every Friday we had beautiful, festive Shabbat dinners. My parents gave me my Jewish education, and they taught me and my brother how to celebrate the holidays. 

At school, my experience was more difficult. I was bullied for being Jewish, and my father often came to school to protect me. He was the one who taught me to instead be proud of my Jewishness — I’ve carried this pride my entire life.

Q: Describe your JDC homecare worker. What do you like most about Valentina?

A: Valentina is a patient, attentive, and respectful person. Everything she cooks is delicious. She is also very smart — she reads a lot, and we always have such interesting conversations. I don’t really leave home, so I love it when she shares news with me. I also love it when she brings volunteers and guests from Hesed Nefesh for a visit!

Q: Can you describe the different ways Valentina assists you? What does her help look like?

A: Valentina came into my life 10 years ago. At that time, my mother was still alive. Though she was 90, she still looked after me — I use a wheelchair and part of my body is paralyzed. My mother died at the age of 94, and a year later, my brother died suddenly. Thus, I was left alone. 

For a lonely person who by the will of fate has ended up in a wheelchair, a homecare worker is the whole world: a caregiver, a cook, and a friend. Doing all the housework, helping with chores — buying food, changing clothes, cooking, and cleaning — Valentina does everything. She always finds time to talk with me and brings me the paper. She shares the latest news from Hesed, and we celebrate Shabbat and other holidays together. 

Valentina helped arrange for me to have rehabilitation equipment from Hesed, so now I can move from my wheelchair to a chair without needing help. She prepares food so that I’ll always have something to eat during the moments when she’s not there. And on holidays and weekends, she visits me purely on a volunteer basis. With her by my side, I never feel lonely.

Without her, I would fade away very quickly and no longer be on this earth. 

Q: What makes Valentina so important right now, during the conflict in Ukraine?

A: Loneliness is a terrible thing even in the best of times. We live fully and happily only when someone needs and cares about us. Human warmth is the only thing that can give us hope and a renewed sense of life. Valentina provides all of that. 

The conflict has made Valentina’s help more urgent. Right now, all of us Jews need psychological support, special food assistance, and winter relief. Thanks to the fact that I have a homecare worker and other Hesed assistance, I have everything I need to live in dignity.  

Human warmth is the only thing that can give us hope and a renewed sense of life. Valentina provides all of that.

Q: What else is important to know about the support you receive from the Jewish community?

A: Before I connected with Hesed Nefesh, I couldn’t imagine that somebody would care about me this much. Today, I’m endlessly grateful for all the help JDC and Hesed provide. With my miserable pension — less than $4 a day — and my paralysis, I simply wouldn’t survive. 

I’m glad I came into this world as a Jew. Though I endured antisemitism earlier in life, now it’s the help of other Jews that keeps me alive. I can truly say, despite everything, that I’m happy.

Alexander S., 79, is a JDC client in Poltava, Ukraine. Valentina S. is a JDC homecare worker in Poltava, Ukraine. 

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