The Meaning of Tu B’Av: A Rabbi and Cantor’s Jewish Love Story

Before they were husband and wife, Aaron and Lauren Blasband-Roth were students at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion (HUC-JIR), where they met while studying at the school’s Jerusalem campus. There, Aaron and Lauren fell in love — and despite the chaos and dislocation of the COVID-19 pandemic, they grew closer and eventually got married. 

In celebration of Tu B’Av, we sat down with Aaron and Lauren to learn more about their love story, Aaron’s experience with the Weitzman-JDC Fellowship for Global Jewish Leaders at HUC-JIR, and their recent visit to South Africa on a JDC Entwine Insider Trip. 

Q: How did you two meet?

Rabbi Aaron Blasband-Roth: We met at Hebrew Union College in Jerusalem in 2019 at a Shabbat dinner the night before orientation. I was in rabbinical school and she was in cantorial school.

Cantor Lauren Blasband-Roth: We were going to be going to different campuses of HUC. I was going to be going to New York and he was going to be going to Los Angeles. But then, 10 days later…

ABR: 10 days later, we started dating. Four days after that, I moved in and we basically have spent the rest of our time together since then. 

LBR: He brought a bag and never left.

ABR:  I was in Israel as a Weitzman-JDC Fellow. I’d spent the previous year teaching English in Israel, and during that time, I got to experience many different cultures I’d never been exposed to in my Ashkenormative life here in southern California — the dynamic communities of Ethiopian Jews, Moroccan Jews, Russian Jews, and more. 

The Weitzman-JDC Fellowship allowed me to do a deeper dive and understand what global Jewish responsibility looks like in action. Something that’s hard about being clergy is that you feel like you’re pulled in a million different directions — you’re engaged in education, social justice, and pastoral care. 

But the Fellowship gave me something most clergy never get to experience — the chance to immerse myself in other communities and perspectives. I had the privilege of volunteering and doing a bunch of site visits. I had an exciting year ahead of me. 

LBR: But then COVID-19 happened.

ABR: Yes. I was supposed to travel to Poland with the other Fellows and learn about the Polish Jewish community. But instead, I went on lockdown. 

For the rest of the year, we did a bunch of virtual trips and programs around the world. Unexpectedly, the most meaningful moment of my Fellowship was the virtual Shabbat I joined at the Comunidad Amijai in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

I wasn’t just moved by the amazing music and the way that vibrant community came together. It all felt so familiar — my grandmother was born in Argentina, and my mother’s first language is Spanish. Jewish Argentina was a huge part of my family’s story, and it was powerful to see it all in real time. 

Five years later, I still stream their services.

LBR: And in those five years, we met, fell in love, and got married.

ABR: Right. The moment we both knew we were going to end up together was back in Israel. One Friday, I had to go to the shuk (marketplace) to buy a challah for Shabbat. I told a group of people that I was leaving, and Lauren said, “I need to go and get cherries.” She didn’t need to get cherries. 

Instead of going to the shuk, we sat at a coffee shop. We probably sat there for four hours, but it felt like 10 minutes. Both of us knew in that moment that we were going to marry each other.

LBR: We got married in a barn in New Jersey. 

ABR: So many rabbinical and cantorial students, as well as rabbis and cantors, attended our wedding, which was fun — everyone knew exactly what was going on.

Q: Tell us about the recent JDC Entwine Insider Trip you attended for HUC students. 

LBR: South Africa has always been at the top of my list of places to visit. My dad did a high school exchange program in Johannesburg, and he always talked about his time there. He was really fascinated by global Jewish communities. He’s since passed away, and I thought the JDC Entwine Insider trip to South Africa would be a meaningful way to honor his memory, meet like-minded people, and learn more about the Jewish world. 

Speaking with a rabbi in Cape Town before a Shabbat service, he said there were probably going to have a lot of melodies that we’d be unfamiliar with, given that they’re unique to South Africa. And you know what? There wasn’t a single melody that we weren’t familiar with. 

It was such a surreal moment. I realized that Jews are way more connected than I ever grasped before. Entwine gave us that. 

ABR:  What sets Entwine Insider trips apart is that you’re not just exploring the world — you’re exploring the world through a Jewish lens. 

We were traveling with a lot of clergy and those studying to be clergy; everyone was a Jewish professional of some kind. And as someone who’s going to be a rabbi-educator in a middle school, I’m always thinking about how I can inspire young people to get excited about Jewish traditions. It was incredibly helpful to be surrounded by a cohort of people who thought the exact same way. 

But even if you’re not a Jewish professional, one of the magical things about being Jewish is that when you run into a Jew halfway around the world, there’s still something familiar. And I’d say that going on that Insider trip made me feel connected to Jewish South Africa in a way I wouldn’t have otherwise.  

Q: Tu B’Av — the Jewish Day of Love— is almost here. In that vein, what’s your advice for a successful relationship? 

LBR: Should we say it together?

AB: Yeah.

LBR & ABR: Separate blankets. 

Q: Why?

ABR: Hypothetically speaking, if one partner likes to hog the blanket, then having separate covers immediately resolves the issue.

But in all seriousness, our relationship is successful because we share the same values and we have very similar goals. Though we’re both clergy, we decided from the beginning that we would never work in the same institution. We both need to have independence. 

LBR: I think the single most decisive factor in our relationship’s success is healthy communication. We’re really good about checking in with each other. We don’t really fight. 

ABR: I think that being a Jewish professional has taught me how to listen when I disagree and not necessarily feel like I have to be right. There’s this idea of machloket (disagreement), in which you can have multiple opinions that are all correct. That’s a good concept to embrace when you’re married. 

Q: What do you love most about each other?

LBR: There’s so many things that I love about you, Aaron. I love how kind and confident you are. I admire how you can go into any situation and talk to anybody. You are so outgoing, whereas I’m a little more quiet and reserved. 

We never run out of things to talk about. We’ll be sitting on the couch and then you ask these difficult, interesting questions and we get into these long conversations. They’re never debates, but long conversations and discussions.

ABR: Lauren is the perfect partner for me. We balance each other out. I can go into a room and talk somebody’s ear off and she’ll be like, “Aaron, let them speak.”

She’s very kind. She’s very thoughtful. And she’s very funny. 

I used to need to be alone to recharge. But she’s the only person I’ve ever wanted to be alone with. We can just be together watching trashy reality TV or scrolling on TikTok. And it just feels like she’s home. She is home. 

Lauren Blasband-Roth is a cantor at the Stephen Wise Temple in Los Angeles, CA.  Blasband-Roth earned a Master of Sacred Music (MSM) and cantorial ordination at the Debbie Friedman School of Sacred Music at HUC-JIR. Lauren received her Bachelor of Music from Mason Gross/Rutgers University in 2015 and her Master of Educational Leadership (MEL) in May of 2023 from the Rhea Hirsch School of Education in Los Angeles, California. Lauren now resides in Burbank, CA, with her husband Aaron. During her free time, Lauren enjoys cooking, traveling, and spending time with her friends and family.

Aaron Blasband-Roth is a rabbinic educator at the Milken Community School in Los Angeles, CA. He earned a Master of Arts in Hebrew Letters and Literature (MAHL) and rabbinic ordination from HUC-JIR, where he was a Weitzman-JDC Fellow. Originally from San Diego, CA, Blasband-Roth completed his undergraduate degree at Texas A&M University in 2018, majoring in computer science with minors in physics and astrophysics. Aaron enjoys going to the beach, reading sci-fi novels, working out, watching all sports, and trying new food.

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